- ([info]entangledbank) wrote,
@ 2004-08-24 16:34:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: gloomy
Current music:Renée Fleming

Making fun of names in spam
This is a pointless distraction, isn't it? But I've actually done something the last couple of days, I deserve a break. Granted it's not my essay (I've broken it to the ranks, I can't in all conscience call it a dissertation now), but doing anything at all is a big step up. I've played website designing, and I've discovered FTP. So now to answer all those spam.

Dear Chasity Love, re tentative meeting on the 4th. Sorry, I've decided that if your parents saddled you with the name Chastity and couldn't spell it, you're going to be a neurotic bundle of lack of commitment, witness your word 'tentative'. Best wishes.

Dear Garland Melton, Dirk Kirkland, Terry Babb, I would have pictured something more pastoral than vulgar pharmaceuticals would catch your fancies. Have you considered approaching an author of antiquated romantic novels?

Dear Activists K. Prosecutor, Survival I. Deride, Umiaks O. Plagiarizes, and Unfamiliarity D. Fracture, you have strong, manly names and I predict a successful future in the pornography industry.

Dear Yolanda, Tania, Delores, Ashlee, Chuck, Marlen, Yuliana, Lillie, Aaron, and Whitney, sorry to cancel the deal, interview, loan, booking, and live videoconference, but I am unable to deal face to face with people whose names send me into fits of laughter. Love and kisses.


Unrelated happy fun quote of the day: "May you in this way make the name German remembered in China for a thousand years so that no Chinaman will ever again dare to even squint at a German!" -- Wilhelm II, 1900.

Oh, and... Child Pimp and Ho Costumes, spotted by [info]jonquil.


(Post a new comment)


[info]whatifoundthere
2004-08-24 10:43 am UTC (link)
Oh, but Dolores means sadness though! You should be sent into fits of weeping.

On another note, I highly recommend giving a proper name to the dissertation. First of all, it allows you to avoid the awful D-word -- a word which I can tell from your posts causes you just as much pain as it caused me (and still causes my husband, [info]redmagpie, who is not finished yet).

Second, it gives you lots of great ways to anthropomorphize. The person who first gave me this advice many years ago had a dissertation named Frank. This permitted her to say things like, "Oh, Frank is very testy today," or, "Frank is gaining weight! I'm very proud of him!" and so on. It's handy, I tell you.

Some months ago, I passed the advice on to my dear friend [info]quislibet, who even went so far as to use a LJ poll to name his dissertation. After a pitched battle (and no small amount of political manoeuvring by Q's friends), there was a winner.

(Reply to this)(Thread)

[info]entangledbank
2004-08-24 01:16 pm UTC (link)
This is a Delores, not a Dolores, one of the points that has me twitching.

(Reply to this)(Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…